National Library Week Song

I had hoped to actually make a video of this, but there's no way it will be done by the end of the week, so I'm posting the lyrics for now.

With apologies to Tom Lehrer (and Neil Gaiman, Danielle Steel, and Hemingway, for that matter):

Oh, the e-books hate the print books

And the "snooty" books hate the "trashy" books
To insist your books are the best books
Is an old established rule

But during National Library Week
National Library Week
Danielle Steel and Hemingway
Are dancing cheek to cheek
Fiction or Biography
Makes no difference to me
I'll check your book out to you with a smile.

Oh, the poor folks and the rich folks
And those crazy middle-class folks
Are all equal at the library
It's American as apple pie!

And during National Library Week
National Library Week
It's National Everyone-Lend-a-Book-to-
One-Another-y Week
Neil Gaiman tells us all
To come and have a ball
At the library in your college, town, or school.

Oh, there's research, and there's job help
There are movies, and music CDs
All free to use at your library
Let me tell y'all the news

This week is National Library Week
National Library Week
Academics love the publics
'Cause it's very chic
Think of librarians who
Have been helpful to you.
It's only for a week, so if you please
Remember to support your libraries!